Thyme For Cooking, the Blog

Bad, Bad, Babe!

I'm a bad Babe.

A very bad Babe.

I didn't bake my bread.

Shame on me.

Shame, shame, shame!!!

I do have my reasons (Doesn't everyone?  Always?)

I won't recount them yet again (see 2 previous posts...or maybe 3.... I may have been doing a lot of bitching lately...   But I'm a Bitchin' Bread Baking Babe!)

Enough about me.  This months fantastic bread was brought to us by Sher, of What Did You Eat: a Poilane-style Miche - made with a wild yeast starter!

I'm telling you, each and everyone looks fantastic....

Go!

Look!

Drool!

A Fridge Full of Food (Glenna), Bake My Day (Karen), Cookie Baker Lynn (Lynn), I Like to Cook (Sara), Lucullian Delights (Ilva), My Kitchen in Half Cups (Tanna), Grain Doe (Gorel), Notitie van Lien (Lien), The Sour Dough (Mary aka Breadchick), and What Did You Eat (Sher)

Living on Bread and Water (Monique), and  Thyme of Cooking (Katie), (moi) are Babes on Hiatus this month....

Potato Pizza; Ham Pizza; The rewards of being a Bad Example

There is a very popular little cafe in my hometown. 

Everyone loves it; raves about the food; composes odes to the pies.

Whenever I visit and we go out to lunch, I know where my mother will want to go.

And my mother knows I'll suggest some place, any place, else.

It's not that the food isn't good; it is.

It's just not put together carefully.  It's presented in a slapdash fashion; rather haphazardly, as it were.

If I have a cheeseburger, all the cheese will be on one side.

If my sis and I both have a bowl of chili: hers will have all the meat and mine will have all the beans.

There simply appears to be no care paid to presentation.

After, once again, taking up the challenge from the Bread Baking Babes to wrestle a wet dough into submission... and failing miserably, I would like to humbly apologize for all the unkind words and thoughts I have directed at this small-town cafe.

I now proudly proclaim to the world that I am a convert to the taste over appearance school of cooking... Or at least, the school of baking.

It seemed simple enough to start:  a pizza.  I've made pizzas.

But that phrase "pour the dough into the pan" really should have set the alarm bells off a bit sooner.

Being the ever-obedient Baking Bitch Babe I poured.

I was meant to "very generously coat" two pans with olive oil first.

I did that.  It occurred to me, too late as it happens, that my idea of 'very generous' might differ slightly from the author's....

Oh well....

As it turns out, I was so generous with the oil that the dough just kept slipping back to the center, regardless of how diligently I tried to coax it to cover the bottom of the pan.

I considered several options:  using duct tape to fasten it to the sides of the pan;  stapling it to the bottom of the pan (no food-grade staples);  putting stones around the edges to weigh it down....

In the end, I decided on the 'zen' approach: let it be what it was meant to be, a flowing, free-form pizza.

Once the dough and I had come to terms with each other's 'state of being' I turned my attention to the topping:  4 lbs of potatoes (and a big onion).

I started piling the potatoes on my little scale. 

Surely I had read that wrong.

I DO try to follow the instructions (sort of) but I only had 2 lbs and I couldn't possibly imagine how I could pile up more on my little free-form pizza.

Mon mari, being the omnivore that he is, was a little concerned about the potatoes as well. 

He was concerned that there didn't appear to be any room for the meat.

That's where the other crust comes into the picture...Smart Babes!

A few olives, a bit of Bayonne ham and a sprinkling of cheese  kept him happy.

They both got popped into a hot oven.

For some reason (could be that 'very generous' oil) the ham pizza turned out almost like fried dough, very crispy around the edges and it didn't raise much in the oven at all.

The potato pizza was very, very good.

But the ham version, with it's crispy, olive oil fried edges.... Now that rated the DO Award (Digestive Orgasm).

We finished off the potato version for breakfast - the true test of pizza was passed: It was good cold!

Once again, I have been humbled by the Bread Baking Babes.... But every group needs it's leader, right?  The star, the one who always gets it right?

And in order for the star to shine someone has to serve as the bad example, the screw-up, the one who, unfailingly gets it wrong.

I have finally found my niche!

I shall be the bad example; pictorial proof of what it's NOT supposed to look like.

To see what it's supposed to look like, visit some of the expert Babes.

A Fridge Full of Food (Glenna), Bake My Day (Karen), Cookie Baker Lynn (Lynn), I Like to Cook (Sara), Living on Bread and Water (Monique), Lucullian Delights (Ilva), My Kitchen in Half Cups (Tanna), Grain Doe (Gorel), Notitie van Lien (Lien), The Sour Dough (Mary aka Breadchick), Thyme of Cooking (Katie), and What Did You Eat (Sher)

Being a bad example has it's own rewards... and I get to eat well, regardless.

One final note - as long as I'm feeling humble and apologetic....
I have been sadly neglectful of  many / all of my favorite bloggers for the last few months while I worked on the rewrite of my website.  I've been reading / skimming but not very good about commenting.
The new design has been all-consuming, but I went live with it yesterday.  It's not finished, but at a stage where I had to get it up and out there... the rest can be wrapped up over the next few weeks with much less stress.

Now I'm going to relax with my new book - a real page turner "Get into Bed with Google"....

 

Crocodile Bread: That's a Croc! No, it's Bread! Are you sure...

Lien, of Notitie van Lien, is the Host Kitchen this month for the Bread Baking Babes!

What, you may wonder, am I doing with Bakers????

Anything to be called a Babe.

Besides, I was promised booze and sexy underwear...

Or was that a sexy apron...

But how can an apron be sexy without the underwear....

Do you sense some procrastinating here?

First some general information to help you understand my position:

These people are all 'Daring Bakers'.  I am not.

I foolishly thought they would be kind to the new kid.  They were not.

I was presented with a recipe (the same one everyone else was using) and told 'it'll be fun'.

The recipe called for flours I don't have and can't find. 

It's a 'wet dough' (understatement of the last 5 centuries).  Have you ever tried to turn soup into bread?

Well, at this point I did what I always do in these situations: Climbed up on my very high horse, sniffed arrogantly and claimed that 'I will manage with what I have available; and it will be good!'

Fortunately I didn't seriously damage any body parts when I toppled off that damn horse.

On that note, I'll let the pictures tell the sad tale of the Coccodrillo, or Crocodile Bread.  (I now realize why it's called Crocodile Bread: not for any physical resemblance, but because taming it is a loosing battle.)

1.  The recipe involves 2, sequential starters, bubbling away in a warm place for 2 days.  I live in a drafty, old, French farmhouse.  It's late winter.  I don't have a warm place.  So I put them on top of the boiler.  (It's also a great place to warm paint cans).

2. At least I have a heavy duty mixer.

3. The batter got very nice and bubbly.  Isn't my flower pretty?

4. Okay, still procrastinating...  Did I mention this was a wet dough? 

5. According to the recipe, once it's risen for the second time one should put it on the counter, shape it, and then place it on parchment paper.  The fact that what I thought was parchment paper turned out to be cling film is neither here nor there....

I put about 10 cups of flour on some foil and poured the dough on top.

I spent a frantic 5 minutes just trying to keep it from running off the counter into the waiting jaws of the dogs.  Shape this oozing mass?  I don't think so.  I was a bit worried that if left unattended it would creep out under the doors and destroy the village, but, by that time I no longer cared.  I spoke sternly to it, tossed some more flour on it and put it back on the boiler.

6.  Oh yes, I was meant to cut it in half (yeah, right!) and bake two separate loaves.
You can see that I tried to separate them.
You can also see that I failed.
So I made a conscious and considered decision to go for the conjoined approach.

7 . According to the mavens I was to let the bread cool for 2 hours before cutting.  They don't know mon mari!  The first bit of fresh bread must be consumed within 5 minutes of removal from oven.  His rules.

That's okay, I fixed him.  Have you ever bit into a piece of tin foil with a tooth that has a filling?  I'm told it's a rather awful sensation... Actually, I was told that repeatedly last night. 

It seems in my efforts to control the croc I was, perhaps, overly exuberant and scraped some bits of foil into the dough.  I could pick them out this morning in the cold light of day...but, he wouldn't wait....

8.  Was it good?  Oh yes... Delicious last night slathered with butter and eaten with our risotto.
Equally good this morning, without the butter.  It has a lovely, slightly sour, slightly salty taste.  It's very similar to a bread I used to make lots, in a pottery cloche, that we loved.  The croc had a much nicer texture, though. 

What did I do wrong?  Nothing, naturally.  Oh, I was meant to use Durum and Stone Ground wheat flours and I used Bread Flour, but, hey, what difference could that make?  Gluten?  Did someone say Gluten?  Nah, didn't think I heard anything...

Will I try this again?  Probably.  It really was pretty effortless. And it was yummy! Now that I know what to expect it won't be quite so scary disconcerting.  I may modify the recipe and use a bit more flour at the end... 
If I ever live in a country where bread baking is more common and more flours are available I might even try it the right way.

For now, though, I live in France where fresh bread is delivered to your door and making it at home is not all that common.  I'll continue to work with what I have.

To see what it's supposed to look like, visit some of the expert Babes.

A Fridge Full of Food (Glenna), Bake My Day (Karen), Cookie Baker Lynn (Lynn), I Like to Cook (Sara), Living on Bread and Water (Monique), Lucullian Delights (Ilva), My Kitchen in Half Cups (Tanna), Grain Doe (Gorel), Notitie van Lien (Lien), The Sour Dough (Mary aka Breadchick), Thyme of Cooking (Katie), and What Did You Eat (Sher)

Watch this space next month to see what my next proud accomplishment will be - but don't hold your breath....

PS:  I forgot.... I'm hosting Weekend Herb Blogging this week!  Send your entries to thyme2.kate@gmail.com.  Come on and play with me!  I'll be nice.... I promise!