Pasta with Red Beans and Ham; The Learning Curve

I love it when I spend two solid days working at my computer and accomplish absolutely nothing. 
Nada!  Rien!  Zip!  It's exhausting!

I'm back where I started on Saturday morning.  And, I might add, damn glad to be here!

It all started simply enough.  In case you didn't know, (duh!) I have a website, Thyme for Cooking, in addition to this blog (sacrilegious, I know!) with which I am trying to eke out a living to maintain my current lifestyle of, um, living, eating, etc.  I've been wanting to add a 'member's only log-in' function for the last year and finally decided it was time.

Naturally, I did the first thing I always do with any problem: buy something!  In this case I bought a little piece of software on the internet for interfacing with PayPal. 

They said it was easy to use. 

The fact that they also said I should have knowledge of PHP and MySql didn't deter me in the least.  (Don't know those words?  Hahaha!  Me neither!)

Then I bought "PHP and MySql for Dummies" at Amazon.com.  I mean, other people do this right?  It can't be that hard! 

The fact that I had no knowledge of PHP and MySql didn't deter me in the least.

Next step, before actually opening the "Dummies" book, is to go to the the host for my website, tick the little boxes that say "Add MySql and PHP capabilities"  and try to install my new software. 

Didn't work.

So, I did what else I always do: start opening files and folders, checking this, tweaking that, running this, installing that; generally, in the guise of 'familiarizing myself', I dig a whole that gets bigger and deeper with every click of the mouse.

By the end of Saturday, pretty much nothing worked.  Even the stuff that had worked in the morning no longer worked.  It was time to quit.

Back at it Sunday morning, I decided to do the next thing I always do (after I totally screw things up): delete the whole mess and start over; this time reading the instructions, opening the book and starting at step one. (How boring!)

Except, I couldn't!  Delete it, that is. 

Somehow, in all of my tweaking and clicking, I had managed to delete my own privileges.  I no longer had the authority to do anything.  No matter what I tried to do, the F***ing, helpful, computer came back and said "Access denied".  I no longer had the authority to give me my authority back!  You can see the problem.

By the end of Sunday I conceded defeat.  I hate that!  I called the help line. 

After two days of this, I was not feeling receptive to the chipper voice on the other end.  Fortunately, I remembered that I wanted him to actually help me....

He spent about 20 minutes trying to figure out the problem.  (Number one issue with geeks: much more interesting to figure out why than to just fix it.) 

Finally, he admitted he was stumped.

Finally, he listened to my plea: just delete the whole mess and let me start over!

But what about saving your work, he asked... Trust me, I don't want it saved...

So, this morning I'm back where I was Saturday morning, with a clean slate, a pristine program, a do-over!

Now, where was that book again?  Oh never mind, who needs books....

That's why I'm not much of a baker - you have to read the directions.  Takes all the mystery out of it!

It's why I like pasta; imagine what you want it to taste like and then add ingredients until you're there!

And who says Red Beans need to be with Rice?

This is my entry for Presto Pasta Nights, started and hosted each week by the lovely Ruth, of Once Upon A Feast.  Each week find a plethora of pasta in her Friday post...

Beans are a major vegetable in both France and Spain, but are normally sold plain, rarely flavored or spiced. If I could get them, I would use 'red kidney beans in chili sauce' for this. If you do, you might want to use less chili powder. Frying the chili powder releases more of the flavor.  I used a local, dry-cured ham.  It has tons of flavor so not much is needed.  Prosciutto is probably the easiest, similar ham to find, but Serrano, Iberian, Bayonne, would all be delicious.

Pasta with Red Beans and Ham

1 cup dried pasta, penne, rigatoni
1 onion
3 cloves garlic
1 stalk celery
1/2 green pepper
1 tbs olive oil
1 can whole tomatoes (15 oz, 450 gr)
2 1/4" (.6cm) slices dry-cured ham, Prosciutto,
1 can/jar red kidney beans (15 oz, 450 gr) or chili beans if you can get them
1 small can chopped green chilies
1 tbs chili powder
1 1/2 tsp dried oregano
1 1/2 tsp dried basil
2 bay leaves, fresh or dried
few drops hot pepper sauce optional
anything else you would like to add to make it hotter - jalapeños, red pepper flakes?

Cook pasta according to package directions.
Chop onions, celery and pepper.  Finely chop garlic.  Heat oil in large, nonstick skillet over medium heat.  Add chili powder and sauté 1 minute.  Add onions, celery, pepper and garlic and sauté 7 - 8 minutes.  Trim ham and cut into bite-size pieces.  Add ham and sauté briefly.  Drain and rinse the beans. (Do not rinse 'beans in chili sauce'.)  Drain the tomatoes, reserving the juice, then roughly chop.  Add beans, tomatoes, herbs and hot pepper sauce.  Cover and simmer over low heat for 10 minutes.  Add green chilies and simmer 5 minutes more.  Add reserved juice if it starts to look to dry (not necessary if using chili sauce beans).  Taste, adjust heat, remove bay leaves, add to pasta and toss well.  Serve.  Mon mari has jalapeños on the side.

Be sure to stop by Once Upon A Feast on Friday for the complete recipe round-up. 

Back to work - if the entire internet collapses later today, don't blame me...I'm not that good!

Comments

[sra]

Love that line ... "I no longer had the authority to give me my authority back!"
It bears no relation to yours but it reminds me of another line, one I can't get over - a stock exchange notice about a certain company's director - "As Mr So-and-so has passed away, he ceases to be a director of the company."

[Ruth]

Poor Katie! I do sympathize. Technology is wonderful...until it's not and then...well this is a family friendly site, so...

The pasta looks great though. I'm glad you shared it with Presto Pasta Night.

And the fried green tomatoes on your website - awesome! Good luck with that. I'll be adding it to my favorite resourse links.

[Lydia]

Oh, Katie, I hate being in technology hell! I don't understand why I can be completely competent in other areas of life, but when I hit the technology wall, I sometimes just cannot find a way over it. Should be easy, right? And yet, if I had a dollar for every hour I've wasted going around in circles, I'd be able to hire someone to figure this stuff out for me! Good luck with Round 2.

[Anh]

Red bean and pasta! I LOVE the idea!

[Tanna]

"Add MySql and PHP capabilities" doesn't sound dangerous but now I know it is! It is hard to believe when you start into one of these sessions that you put in two days of work and find yourself back at the start position!
I can't help myself, the loop inherent in "I no longer had the authority to give me my authority back!" is just priceless.
Now that photo of the red beans and pasta, that is a thing of beauty! That is beautiful and satisfying.

[Betty C.]

Courage! I do think the log-in is a good idea (as you know...)

[Wendy]

Totally understand. And I'm not a baker either. ;)

[Deb]

Ah computers. Whenever they say it is going to be easy...beware! Nothing with the computer is ever easy. Glad you finally got it going your way!
Oh yum on the pasta dish! I have used white beans once or twice with pasta, but I am liking your idea of the dark beans, especially with all of the other flavorful ingredients. We are pasta people here in our house and eat it at least 3 times a week. I have got to try your dish! Thanks Katie:)

[Katie]

Sra, well, they could have toyed with the idea of kepping him on, I suppose... Great line!

Ruth, thanks, and I have every confidence that I shall emerge victorious...I think...

Lydia, thanks - I don't know why I am always convinced I can do everything myself...I really should know better by now!

Anh, I love bean - any color; any time!

Tanna, it all started feeling very surreal; like I was stuck in a Dali painting... Thank you..

Thanks, Betty - I have hope...but no time frame - hahaha

Wendy, I'm much more of a 'glug of this' person.

Deb, it's only going my way in the sense that it's back to the beginning...but maybe I learned something....maybe?!? I like all beans with all pasta...must be hungry ...

[Nora]

Hi Katie, you are definitely waaay more brave than I am. I hate installing anything on the computer let along do stuff with a new program. I don't even know how to change stuff on my blog! Hope it all works out well.

It makes sense to use beans in pasta. I usually make a cold pasta salad with beans and even chickpeas.

[Maureen]

LOL. Sorry, I'm sure it wasn't at all funny for you but reading about your unfortunate experience made me laugh. This part of your description of everything, "After two days of this, I was not feeling receptive to the chipper voice on the other end. Fortunately, I remembered that I wanted him to actually help me....", reminded me of a cartoon with the caption, " I didn't know there were so many ways I could make the tech support guy cry" - although I'm sure you didn't make your support guy cry! Anyway, I'm impressed you tried to sort it out yourself before calling for assistance. I'm hopeless with computers so I call on my "experts" - my teenage sons!

[Amanda]

... and that is exactly why I will never (or atleast try not to ever) get involved with computer programming. Oh dear, thank you, it did make for great reading though. Hope you get it sorted.

[Susan]

Katie, I feel for you. I REALLY feel for you. I am staunchly self-sufficient and have an uneasy alliance with technology...but also have enough "Dummy" books on my shelves to admit I don't know everything. And, boy, do I hate calling tech support. You're lucky; some of them can have attitude.

It WILL all work out for you, but if this stuff still has you blowing your own gaskets, perhaps you should step away for a bit and refresh your head w/ a walk in the countryside. You've got to get out of that painting!

[Christine]

You were so brave to tackle all that to begin with, Dummies books not withstanding. I would never be so brave, even with the few Dummies books on my bookshelf!
Love your tweak on red beans and rice!

[Katie]

Nora, Brave? Crazy? One of the two... I actually enjoy it, although the moments when nothing works can be a bit stressful.

Maureen, unfortunately my 'expert' lives in the states, so I'm on my own! It is hard to remember that other people can't see what a bad day I've had...

Amanda, I have faith...no idea of timing, but faith.

Susan, I love the Dummies books, I have a shelf full! Now that I've screwed up and realize that I can't do it in a hurry I'll settle down and leatn properly...maybe...

Christine - see response to Nora! Hahaha
Beans and pasts is always good!

[Kevin]

This pasta sounds really tasty! I do not think that I have had means in a pasta before.

[neil]

You want to know my secret? I haven't installed feedburner to my site because I'm scared I'll cancel everyone's feed, so I have absolutely no idea how many people are coming. Beans and pasta, that's so comforting, gives me a better feeling than tech support!

[sher]

Yikes! I got a headache when I read the words "PHP and MySql." I never attempt doing much of anything on with my computer because it usually ends in a disaster! Your experience is the kind of thing that happens to me if I do. I have such compassion for you--but it makes me feel relieved that there is someone else that goes through this kind of horror!

Well, the recipe looks delicious--very New Orleans! I want some.

[Mike]

Sorry to hear about the bout with technology, but at least you came back out alive. lol, "knowledge of PHP and MySql didn't deter me in the least. (Don't know those words? Hahaha! Me neither!)"

The pasta looks really good--I wouldn't have thought of including beans, but it seems like it would be a really nice change.

[Toni]

I had to laugh when I read your comment re: PHP and MySQL. I have a friend who taught computer code for years who says he's really a beginner when it comes to those 2. Not something I'd dream of trying!

Now, as for the pasta -- that's a completely different story. Love the combo with beans and chili!

[Katie]

Kevin, beans with pasta is classic Italian...although more often seen in soups than pastas. Call it 'culinary license'...

Neil, I'm pretty sure you can safely install it without screwing anything up - and if by some chance you do mess it up, everyone just has to click to get the new feed...I've lost and retrieved feeds for other blogs...ooops! Never mind!

Sher, the horror that is 'user-friendly computers' I liked them much better before - when they were mysterious but at least you didn't have software fighting you at every turn! New Orleans with an Italian twist :-)

Mike, thanks! I get to dive back in to that murky pond in another day... Had to take a sanity breather!

Toni, that's the probelm now, if you're not constantly on top of what's going on you loose it....and even then you ccan only stay on top of a small area. My dd has been in IT and a programmer for years - and is clueless about web design...

[meredith]

Sorry about your computer troubles, that would drive me crazy!

[Katie]

Meredith, I'm so close it's not going to take much to puch me over the edge...crazy, I mean...I'm miles from fixing the computer...

[Chris]

Oh - to remember the days of rotary phones, tape decks - with pause, and corrective tape type writers. :) I am sorry you were having computer issues, my friend! But I am loving the dish!

[Katie]

Chris, I hate user-friendly... one's and zero's were easier...I think! Could be faulty memory.