Tomato Tarts, Potato Chips and Good Wine

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Our wine has finally gotten off its lazy metaphorical ass and started working.  There were a few hisses and fizzes yesterday morning (It's a big barrel, it's in the cave, it's easier to listen then to look).  This morning it sounded like hundreds of tiny firecrackers going off.  It's definitely working.

Thank Bacchus!  We got the Declaration in the post today. 

We don't have to pay tax to make our own wine but we do have to report it every year.  I've already had one argument with the powers-that-be because our harvest and final production is not as great as that of the prior owner.  I had to file an affidavit stating how many vines we owned.  They came back and said there should be more. 

We went out and counted, again.  Filed, again.  The second time I was a bit more clever.  I said that I didn't know how many Monsieur had owned but this was how many we had purchased.  And we didn't make as much wine because we were just learning. That seemed to satisfy them. 

Actually we don't make as much wine because we don't pick every bad grape and raisin on the vines.  We do a first pressing and a very light second pressing...instead of the 5 or 6 done by the locals.  We are trying to get 125 litres of drinkable wine rather than 300 of plonk!  Since the locals think the plonk is better than a Premiere Cru there's no point in discussing it.

But its working!   Yay!

Before I get into the story about penises I thought I'd share a couple of favorite recipes.

The first uses brown rice to make a tart crust.  I may have mentioned in the past that I'm not much of a baker.  Brown rice makes a lovely crust and it's healthier....so there!  Pfft!

Tomato and Chevre Tart

1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice
1 egg
1/4 cup (1 oz, 30gr) shredded cheese
1 tsp olive oil
chevre, (goat cheese) not the creamy kind  but a proper goat cheese: log-shaped and wrapped in paper. It will have a thin rind that is edible.
3 - 4 oz (100 - 125gr) Prosciutto or other dry-cured ham
2 tomatoes
3 eggs
1/2 cup (4oz, 125ml) plain or Greek yogurt
1/2 cup basil leaves, loosely packed

Lightly oil a 9" (22 cm) pie or quiche plate.  Lightly whisk 1 egg.  Add 1/4 cup cheese and the cooked rice.  Mix well.  Pat into a quiche plate, working it up the sides as best you can.  Bake in 400F (200C) oven for 5 minutes.  Remove.
Slice goat cheese into 1/4" (.6cm) rounds.  Slice tomatoes about 3/8 " thick (.3cm).  Tear or cut Prosciutto into large pieces.  Whisk eggs and yogurt together.
Arrange sliced goat cheese on crust.  Top with Prosciutto and basil leaves.  Pour egg mixture over as evenly as you can.  Top with tomatoes; do not overlap.  Bake for 30 minutes, until center has set.  Remove and let rest 5 minutes, slice and serve.

And as long as we're back in the kitchen with the oven on:

Baked Potato Chips

2 large potatoes
1 tbs olive oil
sea salt for sprinkling

Slice potatoes the long way into 3/16 inch (.5cm) thick slices.  You should get 5 - 7 slices from each potato - discard 'end's.  Put olive oil on a small plate.  Dip both sides of potato slices in oil and lay on a non-stick baking sheet (if you have one - just makes it easier).  Put in a 400F (200C) oven and bake for 45 minutes.  After 30 minutes, remove pan, turn potato slices and return to oven for 15 more minutes.  When done, remove from pan, sprinkle with salt and serve.

Now, about the penises: (no photos, sorry)

We were in the kitchen, making dinner and not paying attention to some mindless cop show on T.V., when I happened to glance up and saw the front of a naked guy filling the screen.
Now I WAS paying attention.  He was  quickly replaced by another naked guy, well, not the entire guy; they were filmed from navel to thigh.  One after another, first the front, then a lovely profile, then the next guy, filling, yes I said filling, the screen.   Bigger than life size.  Scary.
I was definitely paying attention.  There was a male voice over during the, um, show, and interviews with the, ah, owners, talking about how fond they were of this particular, er, appendage; giving pet names, euphemisms, love monikers,etc.  All in all I had the honor of viewing 15 - 20 (or more, who's counting) flaccid wankers.
Now I'm really paying attention...and trying to figure out what the hell we are watching.
Then we see one of the, uh, models, um, manipulating said appendage...(I thought that would hurt!)  and the voice explaining that every most many some men will do anything to improve on what mother nature provided: to make it bigger.  The camera cut to a surgery involving penile implants, I grabbed the remote and shut it off (can't stand the blood).
Apparently we had been watching a documentary (yes, really, a documentary, not reality T.V.) on 'male enhancement techniques'. 

You never know what you're going to see on British television....

The guy doing the voice overs was hilarious.... I learned a whole new vocabulary...

Comments

[MyKitchenInHalfCups]

Well, it seems I shouldn't always think this is just a foodie blog either! That is Katie for sure!!
I have a wonderful rice crust I used to make all the time with parmesan that I need to get out again! I really love your tomato tart!

[blue zebra]

Hahahaha Katie you ho you! ;) Mention penises and dayum, just look at the number of responses! hehehehehe! Cute story and shocking really...NOT! :D LOVE the tart recipe. I am buying brown rice today to try it. I'm soooo stoked for it!

Thanks for the smile and recipe sweetie!

BZ

[Maureen]

How satisfying that must be to make your own wine but the paper work sounds like a headache. Good for you that you got it sorted.

That tart looks delicious and the crust made from rice is such a neat idea. The baked potato chips look really easy to make and very tasty.

I loved your funny story about the BBC documentary. Hey, I live in England and I missed it! LOL (I would have turned it off during the surgery though too)

[Katie]

Sue, it really was hilarious...I loved some of the names - and talk about egos...

Ahhh, Mike... you inspired me! I devoted a whole post to answer your question.

Tanna, we aim to please! Parmesan, huh, that sounds delish!

BZ, I've been getting more hits, too - maybe people are getting me on the 'penis' google hahaha

Maureen, It was on rather late... The wine is fun, especially when it turns out drinkable...not good, mind you, just drinkable.

[Jeni]

Hilarious!!!

On a serious note, I love the healthy tart crust with brown rice. I will have to try that. The potato chips look like so much fun. Definitley good movie at home food.

[Katie]

Jeni, I love the brown rice crust and never make the pastry kind... It's so much easier eating all the cheese if I know the crust is healthy!

[gilli]

I had a good laugh at the men and their appendages...I though maybe you had inadvertently pushed a porn channel.
Those chips of yours would make wonderful Chip Butties. You must use sliced white plastic bread though…can you buy that in France?

Just catching up with your blog sipping coffee and loving it.

Cheers